DJ Pauly D To Play @ Tequila Ranch Saturday, October 9th

26 09 2010

So if you haven’t been keeping up w/ the Jones’ and paying attention to the happenings in Cleveland, here’s your nugget for the day. DJ Pauly D– of MTV Jersey Shore fame- will be in Cleveland on Saturday, October 9th to spin at Tequila Ranch on W. 6th st. There will be opening sets from DJ Kosherkuts and myself, The Goldfather.  Love it or hate it, you know it’s going to be crazy packed and so I’m just gonna go ahead and say that you should just purchase your tickets online now. You’ll be on the list and get your physical ticket at the show. Hurry, because it’s probably going to sell out!  See you there, beating up the beat!

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roseangel

24 09 2010

So as most of you know, I really REALLY like Mexican food. In almost ALL of its forms. Mi Pueblo, Luchitas, Agave, El Jalapeno, El Rodeo, Momocho, Taco Bell (a shitty alternative, I know…. so sue me), and the list goes on and on. Hell, I even remember going to Rio Bravo Cantina in Mayfield, before they turned into Cantina Bravo or something and then that shithole Buca Di Beppo (throwing up in my mouth).  I had heard about this roseangel place through the grapevine and they said it was a taco place, with lots of options. So I’m thinking it’s going to be the Happy Dog of taco joints.  It wasn’t, but it actually wasn’t too far off.

The place is owned by Marlin Kaplan who was behind now-defunct One Walnut and also Luxe Kitchen and Lounge. His partner is Rosita Kutkut who was behind La Boca which was in the same space that roseangel now occupies. Now that we have the background out of the way, let’s talk food.  I had heard the place opened and was super eager to try it, and usually for my birthday, my family and I always go to a Mexican food spot… because I love it soooo much!  Back in the day I used to always get a ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.  As I got older, I traded the brain freeze for the bubble guts, lol…. Looking back i’d still make the same choice. So it’s my mom, brother, sister and I and I say that we’re on the way to roseangel because it’s Mexican, it’s new, and it was my 1st choice. It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and we head across the river to the west side (oh no!).  We park and walk up to the place. As we step inside, some older dude literally yells “WE’RE CLOSED… WE’RE NOT OPEN TILL 5!” and immediately I wanted to punch him right in his fucking face. That’s no way to greet customers whether you’re closed OR open so I want to tell whoever that was to fuck himself. Absolutely and unequivocally.  I don’t know your fucking hours. I’m not glued to the paper or my computer looking who’s not open on mondays, or who is only open for dinner. I’m simple…. buying food at your establishment should be too. It’s a fucking Saturday at 3pm, why would you NOT be open?

But I’m a nice, forgiving guy so I decide that I’m going to give the place another chance at a date to be named later…. So a few days ago, later became the present and I took my friend Michelle out for her birthday. We walk in and everybody is super nice. We had the option for the patio, the lounge or the dining room (vaguely conjuring memories of Luxe). We chose the dining room. Our server was very nice, but not the welcoming type I like when I go out to eat. She never told us her name, or made any sort of small talk whatsoever. She was very robotic and EXTREMELY available. As in kept checking in. I’m missing the word I’m looking for, but she came back so many times, I’m surprised she wasn’t wiping our mouth after every single bite.  Looking at the drink menu, there’s definitely an array of options… All sorts of wines, bottles vs draft beer (including seasonals and fan favorites like Schlitz, lol), a bunch of specialty cocktails, margaritas with fresh fruit (plus) and of course sangria.

We are both starving, so appetizers are in order. We decide to go with the lobster nachos to start. We’re talkin about lobster, guacamole, lime, and sweet soy. Sounded fantastic.  Tasted even better:

In the end, there was a ton of guacamole on the plate, and I was thinking “hey, this is a mexican joint, where’s the salsa?” So I ask the server if there would be some salsa and chips coming, she said we could order some. What kind of Mexican place doesn’t give you chips and salsa to start? Even Luxe gives you bread before your meal.  I remember looking at the menu and seeing all the different types of salsa you could order. I would think they might give you some simple pico de gallo or something. Caost about $1 per 5 lbs, lol. Whatever…. so I ask for some extra chips (which I got $1.25 for. I could have ordered salsa and chips for like $3, huh?) because we had a ton of guac on the plate. Sneaky way to get ppl to buy more I say.

Lobster nachos out of here, here comes the main course. I ordered the battered perch, spicy chicken, and tres queso tacos with a side of rice and beans. Looking at the menu now, I see that you could order 3 tacos for $11.75 or order a la carte for $4.25.  I didn’t see that before, but looking at my receipt, she charged me 3 a la carte prices instead of giving me the plate for $11.75… Wow, having revelations just writing the review…. sneaky sneaky strike 2, robot server.  Take a look at my fare:

Heres a shot at everything:

Battered Perch:

Spicy Chicken:

Tres Queso:

Rice and Beans:

Now I will say, all of the tacos tasted great, but my first bite made me realize that they used cabbage instead of lettuce. This is not advertised on the menu. I fucking hate cabbage. So basically it’s like a taco Panini. Tons of cabbage, some sauce, and a bit of meat.  I’m not exactly the happiest dude out there at this point, but I eat it anyways. I didn’t even notice any cheese in the tres queso, it was a cheese sauce or something.  Either way, I could barely discern it. For $4.25, that’s unacceptable. Sneaky sneaky strike 3.  So all of this going on and our server is coming back ever 2.5 minutes, I’m kind of getting over this spot. Finish the food, got the hell up outta there. I usually give a 20% tip as a baseline, unless u do something really fucked up, more if it’s great.  After the sneaky stuff, I almost felt like I should deduct, but hell…. I was feelin nice.  I’m gonna tell you to go to this spot to try it, especially if you like cabbage, but I prob won’t be back until they switch to lettuce, give u a portions worth of meat instead of saying the tacos are super stuffed (w/ the cheap stuff), and maybe offer some simple salsa to start ur meal off.

Grades:

Atmosphere: A-

I’m sure the patio is pretty cool, but I didn’t go out there. I like the hardwood floors and how the place was divvied up like Luxe. Lounge and bar on the one side, dining room on the other. Also liked how the tables were spaced far enough apart so that you didn’t feel like you were on top of the next table.

Service: B-

Server was courteous, but she just checked back in too much. She was like a robot on a timetable, not one word of conversation outside of taking orders, no suggestions for first time eaters, and she practically dropped the check before we finished our entrees, but said, “there was no rush.” That’s wack. Makes your customers feel that ur rushing them outta there

Food: B

Rice and beans were amazing, the lobster nachos were fantastic (and i’m not even really a guacamole fan), but the tacos I expected more from… Woulda been an A- if not for the cabbage

Cleanliness: A+

Spotless from floor to ceiling

Price: B-

Not sure I got what I deserved for a $4 taco, then the server didn’t give me the 3 taco deal, so that’s a knock. Rice and beans were right on point. Super stuffed w/ cabbage and not much meat, and if you know me and Paninis, that’s not my thing, so knock twice for the 411.

Overall grade: B

Food was good, but not great, service was wasn’t BAD, but was robotic and nonstop, plus the premature check drop. Got 3 sneaky sneaky strikes too, so that speaks for itself. Like I said before, please go and make your own decision. I eat out a TON, so i’m very particular about the quality of food, service, and price. People in Cleveland are really taking advantage of the casual eater as an in general.  But it’s only because the customers aren’t demanding more, they are just going with it. This needs to stop. It’s a SERVICE based industry, ur not just purchasing a product at the store and rolling out. Put a little work on the service experience will ya Cleveland?





Breaking News: Kanye West Doesn’t Like Douchebags & Assholes

12 09 2010

Can’t really blame him…. Though if he was smart, he’d have distanced himself from Pusha T’s shirt/jacket combo. Kanye West would NEVER be caught wearing that. He pretty much destroys every stage he sets foot on when he’s not too busy putting that foot in his mouth. In the end, he’ll reach close to Michael/Prince status…. Mark my words. But while you’re busy arguing that, check his performance of “Runaway.” Pretty sure when his album drops, he’s gonna sell abt 900340d0fdg000 million copies. Yep, there’s letters in there. That’s when you know you are talking about huge numbers… There’s not even enough numbers to make it work, so u have to use letters, lol!!!!





Stop… Chill… Relax: Vol 1

8 09 2010

Here’s a mix I’ve been thinking about making for a while. After being inspired by the White Light mix series, I wanted to do my own take how that music moves me, and this is the final result. Shouts to all the djs who have contributed to not only the white light series which was my inspiration, but to all my dj peeps that inspire me to give my musical interpretations, as they have been given to me by all of you.

Download the mix HERE

Tracklisting:

1. Phoenix – Lisztomania (Classixx Version)

2. Friendly Fires x Flight Facilities x Aeroplane – I Crave Paris (Aeroplane Blend)

3. Sebastien Tellier – Kilometer (Aeroplane Italo 84 remix)

4. Chromeo – Don’t Turn The Lights On (Aeroplane Remix)

5. Lexicon Don – December Sunset (Keenhouse Remix)

6. Cut Copy – Future (Chromeo Remix)

7. GRUM – Can’t Shake This Feeling (Dcup Remix)

8. Bag Raiders – Nil By Mouth (Knightlife Rmx)

9. Butterfly Bones – Crystal Caves (Rockets Remix)

10. Klaxons – As Above So Below (Justice Remix)

11. The Virgins – Rich Girls (Hemingway RMX Final)

12. Penguin Prison – The Worse It Gets (Starsmith Remix)

13. Helsinki 78-82 – So Lifelike featuring Villa Nah

14. Dem Getaway Boyz – Imma G (Memory Tapes remix)

15. Ocelot – Beating Hearts (Louis La Roche Remix)

16. Kid Cudi – Day n Night (Widdler’s Dubstep Remix)

 

DOWNLOAD THE MIX HERE





Gentlemen of Leisure Make a Mixtape (live!)

4 09 2010

Hey everybody… How are you spending your weekend, lazy fucks? I know I’m working. Working for the weekend, for the money, and for you obviously. My fellow Gentleman, DJ Yishai and I decided to start recording live mixtapes for the world. Not cause we’re the best djs in the world, but we like to listen to music, and def know how to play music for girls to want to take their clothes off to (but we got maddddd upside). So I made a mixtape (to be released later) of laid back chill shit, reminiscent of the White Light mixtape series…. Then we’re all drunk and what not, and decide to pump up the volume. So we got crazy and this is the result.  If you don’t like it…. eh, don’t really know what to tell you. Go back to your Englebert Humperdink records I guess cause this is too hard for you, haha…. Catch u later.