Key West Trip Recap Pt. 2

13 01 2010

So we left off with me sitting on the airport, realizing that I was going to be stranded in Ft. Lauderdale.   So right before the plane took off and I lost service, I broadcasted on Facebook that I’d be arriving in FTL around 12pm and was seeing if anyone was around.  A minute or so later, my friend Kelly saved the day and said she’s in West Palm Beach, which is like 45 min away and she’d come pick me up!  What a save on her part.  Otherwise, I’d be spending 11 hrs at the airport!

So upon arrival I eat at Chili’s Too being served by the dumbest bartender I’ve ever met in my life.  Serving abt 10 ppl and took him abt 8min just to let me pay when I was done, plate loaded w/trash, empty glass and all…. retard.  So Kelly makes it over and we catch up a bit and figure we’ll go for some food.  We haul to Delray Beach and it’s actually a pretty nice area.  Little chilly (which winds up being the tone of the trip), but a sweet little beach community.

Turns out one of Kelly’s friends from college owns a little diner there.  Baltimore Ravens fan…. disgusting!  We had some conch fritters at a local spot, then figured we’d go see the new Sherlock Holmes movie in Boca Raton.  On the way, I spotted a friend of mine from Cleveland that had moved to W. Palm a few years ago and I hadn’t seen in forever!  Obviously she was shocked, but I’ve found that no matter where I go in the country, I always wind up running into someone I know…. Uncanny!

Movie was great and Brock said he was on his way up and would be there soon, so Kelly and I decided to have a couple of cocktails at this bar Dockers in Dania Beach.  Straight hole in the wall on A1A.  There was even a hooker in there setting up a deal.  I went to the bathroom and dude had his hand down her pants, lol…. testing out the merchandise i’m sure.  We have like a million drinks including my first Yuengling (some ppl will think what took me so long), which to my surprise was very enjoyable.  So Brock shows up about an hour and a half after he said he was 15 minutes away.  I will come to see that the man has no concept of estimated time of arrival.  He thinks everything is 10min away.  This is the guy who tried to tell me that Ft. Lauderdale was 60 miles from the Keys and it’s a 4 hour drive!!!  So we say our goodbyes to Kelly and hit the road, bound for Sugarloaf Key.  It’s a super long ride back, and by the time we hit the house at 4am- after being up since 6:30 on 2 hrs sleep- I was def. in need of some R&R.  Day 1 is complete…

I awaken to the sounds of palm trees blowing in the Florida sunshine.  This was my first view when I stepped out on the patio…

I decided to take inventory of the house, considering I got there in the pitch black of a star filled sky.  Everything in the house was on the second floor.  Obviously, loving in such close proximity to the ocean, you are prone for flooding, so all houses must be at least 8 ft off the ground, so usually it’s just a garage and some patio furniture down, with living spaces up.  Some houses even had 2 up levels!  3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a huge living room area, kitchen and dining area, an enclosed patio off the back of the place, and a balcony that went 360 around the house.  Then there was the toys.  2 bombardier jet ski’s, diving equipment, fishing gear, kayaks, wake boards, wetsuits out the wazoo, water skis, on and on and on.  After a sweet breakfast of ahi tuna steaks and spanish mackerel, we decide to head to key west and see what all the fuss is about.

Breakfast of champions!

Key West was about 15-20 minutes away from where we were staying, so I got some nice views of the ocean from the bridge, get into Key West and it’s crazy crowded at 3pm on what Floridians call a cold day.  It’s about 60 degrees and this is what you see…

Gloves, hat, coat, scarf for 60 degrees.... smh

Brock and I figure we’ll check  out all the touristy type stuff like Margaritaville, Hemmingway house, Captain Tony’s and of course Sloppy Joe’s.  All of these places btw are dumps… I guess they were going for the rustic, original look (which is cool if ur 85), but it just wasn’t my style I guess.  The staff at Sloppy Joe’s did the namesake proud.  One guy bartender was like 49 with a rattail, then when he was done w/ his bartending shift, he threw on a security shirt lmfao!  All of the female bartenders were over 50 and if they weren’t, were atrocious…. I thought this was a vacation destination.  Well, welcome to hell folks!  The saving grace of the place was the guy onstage playing an acoustic cover set.   And of course the Havana nachos covered with sloppy joe meat, and other sorts of goodness.

"Brock" and I enjoying a beer and some good laughs at Sloppy Joe's

So I start to look around and all I see is old people, couples, and kids on vacation with their parents, and there’s even a cruise ship docked.  Where are all the non attached hotties I heard about gettin wild and crazy!?!  A local next to us (stationed at the base on Key West) told us that Cowboy Bills the next night would be where it’s at.  He said they have this sexy bullriding contest and we should go there if we want some action.  We thanked him for the advice, and got the hell out of there!

We headed back to our spot, got cleaned up and went out to meet our boat captain and his wife for dinner.  Now just a little about our boat captain Pat… He’s 65 years old, retired from being an air traffic controller in ’81, did some traveling, and just recently went to the Philippines, and brought back a 22 year old girl with him to be his wife.  Yowza!!! I guess when you wanna get out, you’ll do anything!  Oh, and the guy totally looks like Don Knotts (this will be another recurring theme throughout the recap).  So we wind up going go this uber local dining spot/watering hole, The Hogfish Grill.  It’s off the main road, off another sub-main road, through a trailer park, and right on the docks.  They pride themselves on being an off the beaten path kind of spot.  They even mention it on the menu:

Our bartender was this sexy, older woman from London.  I would have loved to have had my way with her, but it was not to be, lol… j/k….. well, if the opportunity presented itself.  We had some ceviche, short ribs, mahi mahi fish and chips, and I had the chicken fingers.  Yeah yeah, I know I should have been having the seafood, but I just wasn’t feeling it after seafood all day, then the prices were kinda outta line and I just couldn’t justify throwing money away.  After dinner, Don Knotts and his teenage bride bid us adieu and Ben and I decided to call it a night.  Aaron was coming out the next day from Miami and we were gonna do it up right!  Day 2 is complete!  I’ve been writing a lot, so I think I’m gonna call it quits for now.  Stay tuned…..

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